Commentary :: Military

War with Iran : the Correct Political Perspective

Because of the bitterly partisan and rivalrous degeneration of the American political situation, which is the driving force behind the destruction of the Constitution among other things, I must ask readers to see if it might be possible to hear a person out when there position disagrees with your position, so that perhaps you might even have a chance to consider an issue thoughtfully before making up your mind, which would be a new development in American politics, and might even save the country from further turns towards Caesar, supported by many because of the onrushing disaster.
I would like to suggest the following as the correct political perspective on the war between Iran and the United States which has been waged for the last few years through proxies and through the use of various forms of covert activity. Withdrawal from Iraq is an immoral position, for it means handing Iraq over to the Islamic Religious Right entrenched in power in Tehran. It means handing the Islamic Religious Right an enormous propaganda victory, portraying them as liberators who successfully fought and then defeated imperialism and oppression bringing freedom and liberty to Iraq. Anyone who is familiar with those oppressors, the Islamic Religious Right, knows that when they liberate a country the country does not get liberated but rather it gets held at gun point and then is ruthlessly oppressed in all sorts of very bad ways. This technique of holding the population at gun point as well as employing the Bajlis, roaming mobs resembling Hitler’s brown shirts, has proven quite successful in Iran, for although those Right Wing Mullahs outwore their welcome very shortly after they welcomed themselves to Iran after leading the battle for liberation against the Shah of Iran, they have not been sent packing and have crushed a restive and unhappy population successfully for decades, even though no one wants them. This demonstrates the effectiveness of their techniques once they get their claws into a country, and since no American would want that done to them why would they even consider doing such a cruel thing to the people of Iraq..

If they are allowed to wear out their welcome in Iraq, they will also be found sitting on that place for one hell of a long time, and their appeal as the leaders of the forces of liberation against imperialism or oppression or anything else that pisses anyone off will be vastly increased. This clique of gangsters and terrorists in Tehran will gain enormous prestige, and the fact that they pulled off such a stunt right under the nose of Washington’s armada will make them look courageous and noble in the face of overwhelming force, when the truth was that those peckers just knew how to read poll numbers and therefore became reckless because they knew they could get away with it.

We also know that whenever those bastards take over a new country, one of the first things they bring to that country is not liberation but rather a reign of terror, as they do some quick housecleaning and sweep the place of whatever might be found lying on the floor in defeat before them. So then what they bring is not liberation but rather an introductory reign of terror and mass murder, followed by what they would hope to be an eternity of ruthless oppression. After they do this it will then be time for the recriminations to begin as the attempt is made to find out who was to blame for that terrible and dreadful defeat and all the disasters that are sure to follow.

In spite of this there are still those who consider themselves able to analyze a political problem and come to the right solution who constantly promote the position ‘No War With Iran : Stop American Imperialism.’ Now given that the Iraq war was just a short time ago perhaps people still have signs lying around in the closet that read ‘No to Iraq War’ and therefore, since these political positions are one size fits all and therefore can easily be recycled, this proves to be a convenient conjunction of events for it means that all that is now required to protest against war with Iran is to change the letter ‘Q’ at the end of the word “Iraq’ with the letter “N” changing the word to Iran and then all those signs can be used over again. This would be a great time saver.

Now I can anticipate the wave of denunciations I will receive from various quarters for my position supporting the war with Iran. For the benefit of those who may be feeling politically disoriented at this time may I suggest the following as the correct political strategy : the American people, working together with the people of Iran, use the mighty American military machine, which is the property of the people of the United States of America, who paid for the damn thing, to liberate the people of Iran and deliver them from the clutches of those terrorist hostage takers disguised as Mullahs in Tehran. In the old days it was required that people destroy the country to liberate a country, but with America’s super high technology, designed to pick bugs off the wall at five hundred miles and other such stunts, the possibility exists to simply destroy the Revolutionary Guard, which then destroys the Mullah, because a Mullah without a gun is a Mullah being run out of Iran on a rail by the people in that country. Once the treat against Iraq from those terrorist Mullahs in Iran is gone then Americans can discuss withdrawal from Iraq without that being a morally reprehensible position, like it is right now.

Americans are furious about that war in Iraq and the numbers of pissed off Americans continues to grow as it becomes obvious that this war will take forever. Therefore when young exiles from Iran speak to the American people, asking for American help in dislodging those Mullahs, the situation is such that such youth are dismissed as tools of imperialism, or by those more kindly inclined, as unwitting pawns of imperialism. These youth have already had their spirits crushed and their hopes for the future dismayed because of the filthy sight of those disgusting gangsters holding their country hostage, and now after having been kicked in the balls by the American people they are well on their way to having the last shred of their youthful idealism trashed so that they can become cynical and weary and thus become mature adults.

Now the deal the Mullah oppressor makes with humanity is that to dislodge the Mullah you must shed gallons of blood and destroy the fucking country to exterminate those bastards and get rid of them. Those are the Mullah rules, not mine. A Mullah without a gun is a Mullah without a pot to piss in which is why you never find one of those around, for a Mullah without a gun might be a Mullah delivering a sermon on a Friday in some Mosque, and perhaps ruling that Mosque, but that would about all that Mullah would be found ruling in a place like Iran if the people there had a choice and were not being held hostage by those bastards at the end of a pointed pistol.

Now a Mullah with a gun is safe within Iran, as we can tell by how those unpopular bastards have none the less remained in power for decades. However a Mullah with a hole in the roof is a Mullah with a leaky roof, and thus is a Mullah unable to really sleep well at night as the Mullah worries that perhaps someday something might come through that hole in the fucking roof. Therefore the Mullah desires a nuclear umbrella just to make damn sure the roof doesn’t leak, so that the Mullah can sleep soundly at night and thus be more well rested, and thus a lot more active for it during the daytime hours. Even a tired Mullah, without much sleep, what with all that tossing and turning, is astonishingly reckless and quite busy during the daytime, in spite of that lack of sleep, and therefore we can conclude that once that roof gets fixed, that Mullah will really be full of pep and vinegar during the daylight hours.

Therefore it logically follows that the Mullah must not be allowed to get Nuclear weapons, and that if the Mullah wants light water reactors and the gift of pre-spun uranium, well that will be fine, because you cannot make a bomb that way. But the Mullah does not want that option, and instead insists on the Mullah’s rights under the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty to spin home spun uranium, because other wise a Mullah would be fucked when it came time to fix that disturbing leaky roof hole.

For some reason there are those who think that a Mullah must be allowed to have a nuke, because it was some kind of blow against imperialism, and that as long as that Mullah rejects that other deal of imported pre-spun uranium and has rights under International Law to spin home spun uranium, somehow that was also another defeat for imperialism. Now I know that Dick Cheney holds the point of view that the Mullah must not be a Mullah with a patched roof, and I also hold this point of view, and so therefore I have been called a ‘neo-con troll’ and other such things, since apparently when devising a political position, one must follow the strategy of opposites, such that if Cheney had a policy then, by definition, mine must be the opposite, or otherwise I would be ‘supporting imperialism’. And you don’t want to be doing that. One of the best ways to be safe is apparently to find out what it is that Bush and Cheney want and then make damn sure to oppose every last bit, thus doing that thing I am told that must be done, which is to ‘resist imperialism every step of the way.’

Unfortunately that means not resisting a Mullah, which will then get people slaughtered and oppressed, leaving people wondering who the fuck to blame for that last disaster.

Now let us suppose that I did not follow the strategy of ‘resisting imperialism’ by fighting every last damn policy of Bush or Cheney. The result could be that there would be no more Mullah but that imperialism would now be upon Iran. Therefore the fact that imperialism was upon Iran would be my fault and it could be said that I have a flawed political perspective that caused me to help Cheney and Bush thus deserving a share of the blame for that imperialism in Iran. Now let it be said that I do not support imperialism in Iran. I support a narrowly targeted strike to disarm the Mullah, as I said before. However, someone will say, because imperialism took that next evil step and stepped on Iran, I am to blame for that step, even though I disapproved of that step. I respond in the following way. Do you think that imperialism in Iran is simply a matter of imperialism stepping into Iran? It is just that easy. I would predict four or five years of roiling and boiling in the United States of America, familiar to us all, as the country collapses and almost comes apart at the seams, with fractious feuding, the government in paralysis and so on, and since we have already had four or five years of that it is my hope that there will not be four or five years more. However, if there is stepping on Iran, then I would suppose that I could say what is four or five more years of that dreadful American feuding and hemorrhaging. I accept life as it is, and if that is the case, then so be it. The world would still be a better place because there would no longer be that Right Wing Mullah regime in Iran posing a serious danger to humanity, and while that four or five years of feuding would be a pain in the ass, I am up for it, since when I compare the option of a Mullah on two feet with that of a Mullah six feet under I chose the latter, and if the worst happens and I wind up feuding for four or five years, I accept the tradeoff, because it means I will be sleeping well each night during those four or five years and thus will be well rested and thus ready for feuding each and every day.

Now there are those who say that if I help imperialism take that one step then I am to blame if imperialism takes that next evil step, apparently the reason being that I was around the area for that first step and since the second step followed that was my fault, because I was always to put my foot out in an attempt to trip up imperialism every single step of the way. Hopefully this knee jerk and quite mechanical view of the political process always produces correct results every single time or we will be fucked up royally somewhere on the line when we should have jumped but instead we tripped in error.

If this mechanical view of politics does work then I would suppose that all I need do is find out what Cheney wants and then fight like hell to stop it, whatever that might be, and I would suppose that the assumption must be that Bush and Cheney must be wrong about every thing and that would then make political activism much easier since it would just be a matter of reaction.

Now if I help imperialism make that next step, and then imperialism did something really fucking stupid such as taking that next evil step, thus roiling and boiling the country for four or five years, I will get blamed for helping imperialism take that next evil step which was proof positive of the bankruptcy of my political perspective. This then leads me to wonder if I would get a thank you card later when my critics were rolling up bails of hay under the sun shine during those four or five years. If I take the blame do I get the credit later, or do I just get the blame and then everyone forgets about it later when they are out making hay while the sunshines. Therefore, to summarize, I don’t give a damn about that bullshit about imperialism taking the next evil step, or even an evil hop, skip and a jump, nor am I sunk in hopeless despair while I think to myself, ‘what will I do, oh, what will I do.’ Nor do I feel compelled to stick out my foot every single time imperialism takes a step, but rather I would rather think about my strategy and then, after thinking things over and working the problem out over time, choose my own strategy based upon my observation of the constellations and reading tea leaves on so forth. If that results in what is called ‘the pro-Bush’ strategy and I wind up siding with Cheney on some issue, then, although I will become the object of global outrage I will do it anyway, because in that case it was the right thing to do.

As for everyone else around me it appears that by sticking out their foot every time imperialism takes a step and other such knee jerk and furiously partisan actions they will in the end wind up being ruled over by Adolph Hitler, perhaps in the year 2012 or maybe the process of destruction will take a little longer and they will be crushed by Hitler in 2016. Allow me to explain how this process works.

Just a few days ago Bush put through another one of those Imperial Caesar decrees, whereby if the Iranians try to push the American people to hurry up and get the fuck out of Iraq by launching a terrorist strike against America, Bush would assume emergency powers and all decisions would be made in the White House. As long as Americans continue their retreat from Iraq in a persistent and disorderly fashion, the immediate threat of a terrorist attack is lower than it would be if someone was to begin criss crossing the country stirring up the American people for war with those Mullahs, such as I am doing, in which case, those Mullahs might want to look at their astrology charts, decide that they cannot afford to wait for me to complete the task, and thus they will be compelled to blow up a bunch of Americans in America just as some Spaniards were blown in Spain, thus causing the Spaniards to get the hell out of Iraq, since being in Iraq makes a country like fly paper for terrorists.

Now the process driving this turn to Hitlerism in America is not that George Bush is Adolph Hitler, or even that Bush admires Hitler and thus wants America to turn that general direction, but rather the American people are incapable of governing themselves and because of their feuding and divisiveness and their ignorance about the issues they make the most ruinous choices, thus propelling forward the Caesar option. You see the Caesar option requires political support to move forward, and as you know, each Caesar step has not been resisted in the past, which is an indication that such support exists for that option in America. Eventually the destruction of the constitution and the turn to Caesar to rescue the partisan and thus politically bankrupt American population from ruinous disaster mutates and turns into Hitlerism somewhere down the road, once again because at that time people support the idea because the alternative is a ruinous and quite stupid destruction.

Take myself, as an example. If the American people were to do something recklessly stupid like make the immoral choice to ‘withdraw from Iraq’, thus giving the place to the Islamic Religious Right and giving enormous prestige to those Mullah gangsters in Tehran, with all the disasters to follow then following one upon the other with lots of people getting wiped out and killed because they were in the way (while analysts ponder who is to blame for the ruinous defeat we all suffered that time) in that case I have found myself, over the past three days, turning towards the Caesar option myself. Let Caesar, George W. Bush, save those American people from their ruinous ignorance and their divisive and extremely hate filled partisanship which passes for politics in America. Since I myself am being pushed towards the Caesar option because of the ignorance of the American people and also because it is almost impossible to talk to a furiously angry partisan who won’t listen to anyone from outside their own ghetto, I understand why this Caesar process is gaining and holding support, for I am being pushed to support it myself to avoid a ruinous and senseless defeat and then suffer through the disasters that must follow. At least no one can blame me for all those people who then got slaughtered and wiped out sometime later on, because I tried, and therefore the blame must lie somewhere else.

Now if I support the Caesar option of striking Iran using Caesar powers, then I have helped Advanced Caesarism take that next step. That would mean that after those Mullahs in Tehran were polished off, I would then have to spend the next period of my life fighting back a growing tide of Caesar support in America, which would then lead somewhere down the road to dictatorship, which is where that Caesar option has always led in the past. In order to destroy the support for destroying the constitution and appointing Caesar dictator, it will be required that the American people stop living in feuding partisan ghettos where they spew hate at each other and indulge in personality politics, throwing muck and mud, thus hardening in their positions, but rather that the American people become thoughtful people who never make a decision about any issue without having thoroughly thought it out and learned as much about that issue as possible. As an example of this, the American people want to withdraw from Iraq, which is morally reprehensible since it means giving Iraq to the Islamic Right Wing Terrorists in Tehran, losing their so called ‘war on terrorism’, and going down to a ruinous defeat which will then be employed to destroy not only Iraq and the future of that country, since living with that Mullah is not a real future to look forward in any country, but will also spread to other countries, where they be the familiar pattern of liberation followed by massacres and a reign of terror, followed by a Mullah police state forever and ever amen. What is worse is that the Islamic Right Wing Terrorists will also get nuked up and thus put an umbrella, and the cold war will start up again, as though fuckers stir up shit and places like Washington must try to roll back the gains of Islamic Right Wing Terrorists, which is a pretty humiliating way to end a war against terror. It will also be required that the world learn to deal with those gangster fucks since they will be raising big piles of money selling a big chunk of the world’s oil, which means that people like the American people must fuel their advancing oppression and terrorism every time they fuel up with a tank of gas.

I would predict that America would lose the arms race with the Islamic Religious Right, because they will become richer than America, and America has debts aplenty, and thus will be unable to keep up, thus leaving that really disgusting Islamic Religious Right monstrosity to become a super power, hopefully facing down the European Union, or perhaps a rising China, so that something so powerfully ugly and disgusting as those ruthless Mullah regimes does not become the future unipolar superpower execising global hegemony over the planet.

Now I do not propose that “American Imperialism’ liberate Iran, as my critics would no doubt suggest was the case, thus proving the bankruptcy of my political perspective, but rather I am appealing to the AMERICAN PEOPLE to liberate the PEOPLE OF IRAN. Is that clear. Now it will turn out that GEORGE BUSH is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES at that time, and so therefore, for no other reason that that, we must not do that, for then George Bush would be President while that was done instead of swinging from his balls from a lamp post or some other such plan. You do have to establish priorities.

By being hate filled and really ugly fractious and utterly determined anti- Bush pistol firing pot shot taking partisans the result is that instead of having the American people liberate Iran, Caesar will do so, thus advancing Caesarism and eventually Hitlerism in America by one great step. This fucking bankrupt political perspective is the result of trying to screw over George Bush, even when he is right on some issue, and is symptomatic of the ruination overtaking America which is leading to either defeat or more destruction of the country and more advanced Caesarism. If it made people furiously pissed off to think of George Bush being President instead of being swung from a lamp pole, I think they will be overcome with fury when Caesar goes on to glory in Iran, which is the inevitable result of their political back stabbing and thoughtless partisanship. This result is probably not what they wanted but it is what they will get, and if this is what happens, I will support Caesarism for that one step, given no other fucking choice, and then afterwards I will try to beat back the rising wave of advancing Caesarism in the hopes of saving the American people from another disaster in 2012 or 2016 or whenever the last nail will be nailed into their coffin due to the collapse of civil dialogue and sensible political discussion in that country known as the United States of America. With a little luck hopefully that humiliating tide of Caesar glory and the advancing wave of Caesarism will teach partisan fucks a lesson that will make saving the country easier some time in the future.

So then to summarize, for those thoughtful types, who would like a correct political perspective on this issue, and would like to save America while saving Iraq and Iran at the same time, I would suggest that they take the very unpopular step of supporting the War against those Mullahs in Iran, and do everything possible to educate the American people about the issues at hand and about what is truly at stake so that they can make an informed decision. The options are the immoral choice of withdrawal from Iraq, surrender to those terrorist Mullahs, sitting in Iraq for one hell of long time, which will then provide those Mullahs with a pot to stir and dash from time to time with hot sauce before stirring once again, or finally, the only good option, which is to use the multi-trillion dollar American military machine as a tool to liberate the people of Iran, thus allowing Americans to morally withdraw from a place like Iraq. When the people of Iran dance upon the graves of those armed fuckers, they will lose the chance to become glorious martyrs, thus avoiding that problem of having poisonous spores carried on the wind to other lands to sprout mushrooms which would then result in more threats to more people of the same kind again at some point in the future. By following this strategy, and not destroying Iran, just destroying the Revolutionary Guard which will disarm the Mullah, Americans can withdraw from Iraq while at the same time winning a decisive victory in that ‘war against terrorism’, for the disgrace of those reckless Mullahs will waft over the earth like noxious fume and no one will ever again turn to Islamic extremists thinking they were liberators bringing nothing but the ruin and havoc that such ruthless Mullahs stir up on the planet.


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An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.
-- Mark Twain
Source: "Glances at History" (suppressed)

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